har har!

ok whatever. if you don’t already know and love it, read a little about seitan, then try it out some time in a mock meat dish at your favorite asian restaurant, or buy it prepackaged and overpriced from your local health food store and sub it into a recipe for the usual meat or soy based protein. then, once you’ve realized that it not only tastes good, but is amazingly versatile and provides a nice alternative to the glut of soy based proteins you eat because you’re a lazy vegan, you can return to this post and learn how to make your own.. for half the price (and sodium) as the store-bought stuff, no less.

a warning: this is a long post. with lots of pictures. that’s the point.. making seitan is one damn ugly process and not for the faint of heart. don’t get me wrong, it’s really an easy recipe to follow and only takes about 20 minutes of preperation (plus an hour or so of sitting around while it simmers), but it really is literally ugly.. and its resemblance to a pile of brains makes it hard for a n00b to tell if things are going well. so check out these nudez and you’ll know if your seitan is up to snuff or should be abandoned before it can develop a debilitating case of locker room anxiety.

(side note: I have thrown all of the following photos up in the flickr account that I eventually hope to link with this blog, but until I am able to edit this post and format it in a more streamlined way, you’ll have to make due with the way I have it set up for now).

prologue. the old fashioned way to make seitan starts with ordinary wheat flour and involves washing and kneading the dough over and over until the starch has washed away and left only the gluten behind. if you want to be earthy, go for it. if you want to make seitan in less than 24 hours, join the new millenium and get yourself some vital wheat gluten. it, as well as the rest of the ingredients, can be found in any natural or health food store, (including the East End Food Co-op), especially cheap if offered in bulk. (make sure you’re using vital wheat gluten, and not high-gluten flour, which is simply ordinary flour with extra gluten added to help make breads stronger).

the following recipe is from VWAV, which is itself a modified version of other classic simmered seitan recipes. ultra-basic seitan would call for mixing vital wheat gluten and water, which is boring. unless you want to be boring, you can add additional dry and wet ingredients to your taste, (the flavoring in this recipe is pretty neutral, but you’ll find ways to jazz it up to match your intended dishes); just make sure you keep the same rough ratios of dry to wet.

ingredients.
dry:
2 C vital wheat gluten
1/4 C nutritional yeast
2 Tbsp. flour

wet:
1 C cold water or vegetable broth
1/2 C soy sauce
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
1 Tbsp. olive oil
2 cloves, pressed or grated
1 tsp. lemon zest

broth:
12 C water of vegetable broth
1/2 C soy sauce

* you can omit the garlic and lemon zest without any repurcussions, substitute ketchup for tomato paste, other oils for the olive oil, and tamari, Braggs or plain old water for soy sauce. no rulez!

1. in a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients together. I am doing this by hand because I don’t have an upright mixer; however, it surely makes the process easier if you want to use one. especially if it’s a kitchen aid in some trendy color. anyway, make sure they are well mixed before you do anything else.

2. in a seperate bowl, whisk the wet ingredients together. make sure the water is cold when you add it. again, you need to make sure the ingredients are well mixed before you bring them anywhere near the dry ingredients.. use a whisk or fork and really force that oil and liquid together. they love each other, they just don’t know it.

3. add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. it’s essential that the wet and dry are well mixed before being added together; otherwise, you’d have poorly distriburted and oily clumps, and the gluten would suck up the wet ingredients and leave the poor flour and nutritional yeast by the wayside. sounds appetizing, right? once you dump the wet ingredients into the dry, begin mixing right away and get everything as thoroughly combined and blended as possible with the spoon or mixer. (don’t be afraid of overmixing here- unlike with cookies or cake, you want to make this stuff stretchy and gluteny).

4. knead the seitan. if you’re using a mixer, make sure everything is blended and let it knead the dough for about five minutes, right in the bowl. if not, a spoon isn’t going to help you at this point, so you need to dump the whole ugly brown mess out onto a clean surface, (I use a cutting board), and begin kneading. the goal of kneading the seitan dough here is simply to make sure that everything is well mixed and encourage that gluten to do what it was born to do: become stretchy. you are activating those little proteins’ super powers! you only need to knead (ha!) for a few minutes, and if you aren’t sure how to do so, here’s a tip- abuse it. just fold it over on itself, push down on it, roll it around, squish it, and so on. you will soon notice it is beginning to feel spongy and elastic; this is what you want.

5. it’s tired. let it rest for about ten minutes or so.

6. while the seitan is resting, put the broth together in a big pot. try to use cold water, and don’t turn the heat on yet. making sure the broth is cold before adding the seitan will help ensure the seitan develops a nice firm texture and makes it less likely to crumble apart if for some reason you have produced a fairly soft seitan dough. you can use plain old water, or broth and the added soy sauce for flavor, but the main role for this liquid is simply to simmer the seitan so it’s not a big deal if you change ingredients. you can also add other seasonings to the brother if you’d like.

7. return to your well rested seitan and cut it into smaller pieces. you can do this any way you want, but I usually form it into a sort of loaf or log shape and then cut the loaf into smaller slices or “cutlets.” in the photo, I’ve stretched the seitan into a loaf that is about a foot long and cut ten pieces because they will be put away in the fridge for later use and I find this sized chunk is most convienent; I’ll cut the individual seitan pieces into whatever smaller shapes and sizes I want later depending on how I prepare the seitan. if you want to cut the seitan up into smaller pieces now, or only want to divide it into a couple larger chunks to cook, you won’t be breaking any rules. in general, the surface of each piece tends to become softer as it simmers, while the middle stays firmer longer; if you want to avoid overly firm seitan, don’t use absurdly large pieces, and if you want to avoid mushy seitan, don’t cut too many tiny pieces with lots of surface area.

8. put those seitan pieces into the cold broth, partially cover the pot (but leave a little room for steam to escape), and bring it to a boil. once it is boiling, immediately lower the heat and simmer it very gently for about an hour. you are allowed and encouraged to stop by every once in a while to make sure it never fully boils and give the pieces a stir; otherwise go away and give it some time to figure itself out in privacy.

9. once an hour has passed, the seitan chunks should be floating. turn off the heat and let the seitan and broth cool completely before you remove the seitan.. if you’re really impatient, try to give it at least a half hour. the longer you wait, the better texture if will have.

10. once the seitan is cool, what you do next is up to you. take it out, cut it up and include it whatever you’re making for dinner. or, if you want to save it for later, toss it into an airtight container, cover it with the cooled broth and keep it in the fridge, as the photo suggests. you can also throw the individual seitan pieces (without broth) into freezer bags and keep it frozen. I have read that refrigerated seitan lasts about a week, and frozen seitan likely keeps a good deal longer. I have kept refrigerated seitan for at least 10 days without any problems.

epilogue. that’s all there is to it. not so bad, right? some people seem to have a really hard time getting seitan just right- it either ends up too firm, breaks apart in the broth, or is too mushy. I think this happens to people who don’t follow directions. you follow directions, don’t you? if you make sure to use cold liquids, never let the broth come to a rolling boil, and let it cool when it’s done, you’re 90% there. some other variables you can control that may affect your end product:

kneading longer will produce firmer seitan, kneading less will likely give you mushier stuff. if you don’t like what you have the first time, adjust how long and vigorously you knead the next batch and see if it changes to your liking.

liquid makes a difference too. if your dough is more liquidy, it will produce a less firm seitan, while a drier dough produces a firm seitan. again, you can adjust this variable by adding or reducing a the cold water or oil to the wet ingredients to see how it affects your seitan.

finally, different brands of vital wheat gluten (as well as the other ingredients) simply behave differently. you’ll get a feel for it.

once you’re a seitan expert, you’ll want to experiment. it turns out that you don’t have to simmer or boil your seitan. basically, you just need to mix vital wheat gluten with some liquids and cook it. lots of people have come up with new and different ways of accomplishing this that produce a wide variety of flavors and textures. for example, an easy way to enter the realm of baked seitan is to follow this recipe, which has endless possibilities for improvisation and produces a firmer texture that is somewhat like the commercial fake meats you might be used to, (like Tofurkey).

perhaps you will eventually get adventurous and attempt some seitan recipes like the ones found here and here, but in the meantime, just make a batch and chop it up for fajitas or throw it into some chili. you can handle it, really.

Pita

Dissolve 1 cake of yeast in six cups of water. Mix in 6-8 cups of flour and knead. Let rise for one hour. Punch down. Form into small balls. Allow it to fulfill the promise of the South and rise again. ROLL OUT to the desired size. Bake on the bottom of a 300 degree (or so) gas oven or in an electric on a pizza stone (though my great aunts may shun you if you do this).

Eat.

seriously. it’s (usually) not that hard and you’ll realize it’s often better. what’s more, learning to make amazing vegan dishes that you might assume are just not reproducible at home will make you feel good about youself, cause members of whatever gender you prefer to be more attracted to you, give you lustrous hair, strong nails, white teeth, and make you better at sports and polite conversation.

don’t get me wrong, I love dining out and do it pretty often; I’d never claim to hold a candle to some of the folks who get paid to prepare food on a daily basis.. but there are a lot of ways to promote veganism and educate people in a positive way; making and sharing incredible vegan foods that others might never expect is one of the easiest (and usually most welcome) ways to help people become more vegan-friendly and perhaps even consider the philosophy behind a vegan lifestyle for themselves.

here are some tips:

1. start with what you know.
using agar takes some practice. nutritional yeast can be an acquired taste. I didn’t get to know the subtle nuances of ingredients like these right away and neither will you. pick a few ingredients that you are already comfortable with and do some research to find recipes that feature them. if you’re lost for ideas, ask friends for their tried and true recipes or check some cookbooks out of the library. get cooking.. and once you have some of those recipes mastered,

2. improvise.
yep, don’t be such a baby. this is a big step, I know, but suck it up and start playing around with your recipes. get to know how ingredients interact, how foods work and don’t work together, what flavors seem complimentary and what techniques improve certain dishes. unfortunately, this means you actually have to experiment. experiment means variable and uncertain results. you’re going to make some mistakes. maybe a lot of them. if you do, no one’s going to make you wear a scarlet V for spitting out your food. there’s a saying about an omelet and eggs somewhere in the recesses of my non-vegan memories..

3. level-up.
with your accumulating culinary experience points, you can now begin experimenting with new and scary ingredients and practice some intimidating techniques. identify a dish you love, (from a favorite restaurant or the freezer aisle), but would never imagine making from scratch at home. scour the interweb, especially recipe sites, (like this one), and the million vegan flood blogs out there, (see “Nutrition” links), for recipes; you never know who might already have figured out the secret to Cinnabon cinnamon rolls or the famous No-Name from Grasshopper. if you need hands on instruction, enlist some moral support from friends who can show you the ropes in return for some of the end product. you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll be able to turn out some serious quality vegan delights.

trust me, the people in the backs of restaurants don’t have magic fairies making all that good stuff, they just have a little more experience, possibly more nerve, and probably some larger kitchen appliances than you do. you can change the first two.

…1…2……3?

“Best _____ in Pittsburgh” is dangerous territory, where some fear to tread and others trample recklessly. for example, I dare not approach the boundaries of “Best Pizza in Pittsburgh,” (unsafe for vegans), nor will I ever know the lands of “Best Ice Cream in Pittsburgh.” I can, however, point you to the “Best Indian Buffet in Pittsburgh;” unfortunately you’ll have navigate McKnight Road and avoid the seductive lure of such distractions as laser tag and suburban malls to get there.

if you can do so, you’ll agree that Taj Mahal is the best Indian buffet that Pittsburgh has to offer, especially for vegans. to get the details out of the way: they do apparently offer a lunch buffet, though I have never experienced it; I have also ordered from the menu with excellent results every time.. but the only reason I go there now is for the dinner buffet, offered on Monday and Thursday nights (5 - 10 pm) for $9 (excluding drinks). be prepared to sit next to the 30-something WYEP crowd and plenty of other folks who are sure they are the most “with-it” set in Cranberry Township for knowing what Indian food even is.. but you’ll find it easy to ignore them as you cram your face with the vegan dishes they pass up for the “neat red chicken.”

for those who are used to the traditional northern Indian cuisine found in the majority of Indian restaurants, you will find the familiar samosas, pakoras, and non-threatening vegetable, lentil, and chickpea based dishes. even better, though, is the variety of cuisine representing the other regions of India, including southern Indian favorites like dosas, vada, and idli, that make regular appearances on the sprawling buffet. the web site claims:

Since Indian cuisine varies from region to region, we have tried to include a sampling of dishes from the entire country reflecting the varied taste of different regions. The recipes of entrees included are time tested with correct combination of herbs and spices…

While practicing authentic Indian cuisine, we also use our own imagination and creativity to introduce new and innovative dishes.

the buffet itself usually includes three or four meat dishes, appropriately located in the most inconvenient corner of the buffet, accompanied by at least a half dozen vegetarian options, no less than four of which are usually vegan. there are also usually several appetizers and the usual breads, chutneys, sides and desserts.. all of which (except for the ever present chana masala) vary from week to week. I usually load each plate with at least five distinct items and only ever once tasted something I disliked. the oil, spice and general quality varies as well, but I am more often than not pleased with the heat, (most buffets are too tame by my standards), and dishes are rarely greasy.

while there are several excellent Indian restaurants in Pittsburgh, some of which might give Taj Mahal a run for its money when ordering from the menu, (such as Taste of India), offer more “authentic” regional cuisine, (such as Udipi Cafe), or provide college vegans with all-you-can-eat chana masala in beloved South Oakland, (Bombay Grill), the sheer diversity and consistent quality of dishes presented by Taj Mahal give it the egde.

QED.

If you’re like us here at Torley Manor, then your freezer doesn’t get used too often except for the occasional pint of Soy Delicious and/or roll of GimmeLean, and of course the obligatory tray of icecubes. Beyond that we aren’t usually much for the pre-prepared frozen foods, so we have plenty of room to freeze veggies from the garden for the long Pittsburgh winter.

This year we are getting an early start with a shipment of peas from my parents’ garden out in Quakertown. The two of them had eaten and frozen about all they could for the season, thus sending us off from our visit home with a grocery bag full of peas. Took 1/3 of the bag to Dirty Pete at work. The rest I sat back in the cafe and shelled tonight. We yielded 4 boxes. Not bad at all.

I know a lot of people when they think of storing food from the garden, they think of canning, which can be a bit more of a process. But with things like peas and string beans you can easily just freeze them. However, it is recommended that you prepare them first. For peas, simply remove them from the pod (tho’ you can freeze them in the pod if you want) and then you will need to blanch them, which is basically a process of cooking them very briefly.

The best way to blanch them is to get a blanching pot. Basically this is just a large cookpot that has a smaller strainer/collander style pot that fits inside it. In the larger pot, put water on to boil. In the collander pot, put your peas (or beans or whatever). When the water in the large pot boils, submerge the smaller pot in the boiling water. For peas, leave the peas in for about 1-1.5 minutes. Remove the peas and then immediately either rinse under cold water or dump into a pot of cold water for 1-2 minutes to stop the cooking process. Then pour the peas into freezer boxes (small takeout containers also work well for this, just make sure they make an airtight seal). Make sure you let everything cool off completely before sealing up and putting in the freezer.

Last summer we were able to fill the freezer up with frozen string beans and ate well throughout the winter (we are just finishing up the last boxes of last year’s crop, just in time for this year’s crop to arrive). Even if you don’t garden yourself, its worth buying up a extra big stash of goodies from your local farmer at the farmer’s market and stashing some good local produce in the freezer for those long winter months. Trust me - its much better than eating the frozen veggies from the supermarket or the veggies shipped in from halfway round the world in February.

Time to catch up on some things.

• Missed Wax Fang, but Centipede and Oxford Collapse were both spot-on at the arts fest Saturday evening. Oxford Collapse was the best I’ve ever seen them. Other highlights of the show included: the dude dressed like LL Cool J who claimed to be the best chef in Pittsburgh, the Shadyside-looking girls who took a picture with Lingo because they were city girls and presumably had never seen anyone like him, Lingo pouring red wine on Dan from Oxford Collapse’s shirt, bike messenger looking dudes skanking onstage,  a 50ish guy with a cowboy hat, button-down shirt, shorts and tennis shoes who was rocking out, etc. etc.
• The French Open women’s final was kind of a gimme; Ivanovic started out strong but pretty quickly folded to Henin. The men’s final was exciting — at points I thought Federer might actually take it.  I’m pulling for Nadal to pull off the major upset at Wimbledon now. Cheer with me.
• I ate twice at D’s this weekend, which means I’m not allowed to eat there again for at least two weeks. I’d rather not burn out on it. I think I’ll turn my attention to the ice cream place on the corner. Saturday at D’s was great; strangely enough, it was pretty empty and our waitress was very attentive. Sunday at D’s was back to the average D’s experience: really good food and beer, when it finally came, and wasn’t the wrong thing (like that veggie dog that I ordered that came as a beef dog).
• Also, it’s smoothie season.  Get all your fruit servings for the day in one slurpy glass of tasty stuff. Last week was strawberry for me, this week is peach. Don’t let the season pass you by.
• Read Vintage Didion, a collection of her essays on stuff like Patty Hearst, the Central Park jogger, the Reagans and the Clintons. Now on to Let Us Now Praise Famous Men again. This time I might finish it. Or maybe not.

I had no idea either, until a couple months ago when I noticed the recipe for “raspberry chocolate chip blondies” in Vegan With A Vengeance as I was looking for inspiration for a raspberry layer cake filling. I ended up using the raspberry topping from that recipe in the cake and really liked it, but still didn’t know what a blondie was. then a little later I decided to try the blondie recipe itself, but substituted strawberries for raspberries since I had an overabundance of them wasting away in the fridge. turns out a blondie is a non-chocolate brownie; unfortunate cutesy names aside, they’re very very good.

so tonight I made them again, finally giving the recipe a shot without bastardizing it. then I put some left over homemade chocolate chip ice cream on one, and promptly recognized an opportunity for the first (of what will hopefully be many) mediocre photographs of tasty vegan cuisine:

make these. even people who don’t like baked goods seem to like them. (and well they should, for the absurd amount of sugar in them). and for those of us who tend to prefer the vanilla versions of desserts like ice cream and cake over chocolate, they provide yet another alternative to the version most people prefer.. and for that we should all be thankful, lest we Americans take our vast array of culinary choices for granted. much like freedom, terrorists hate blondies and it’s your duty to eat them.

well. maybe it will. but I can’t imagine my family spending the first week of July in the birthplace of Japanese hardcore and the king of the monsters without leaving some kind of absurd tourist mark on the country. I have three goals:

1. survive as a vegan in the land of fish flakes

2. take a picture of the statue of godzilla in near the Toho building in Ginza.

3. try natto.

my brother, who has been studying abroad in Tokyo for a year, claims he can facilitate the first two, but that I’m on my own for the third.

hopefully my return will usher in a more official “launch” of the true spies site with some interesting photos or experiences.

I am going to attempt to grill this evening.

This is about food.